How to define your core values.

And live the life you want.

What are your core values?

You may call them your guiding principles or your authentic code.

To me they are the “why” of my life.

They define how I make decisions. They define what I do with my work life and my spare time. It’s how I make impact on those around me. It’s what gives my life its unique meaning.

Some casual starting points for todays article, I know.

In my early 20s I knew I wanted a life less ordinary. I spent a lot of time figuring out what was important to me and how I wanted to shape my future.

I defined my life by 2 core values:

Freedom: The ability to do what I want, when I want. To be myself. To know no limits. The freedom to make decisions without stress or fear. The ability to take a leap and know I’ll land on my feet.

Flexibility: With time, resources, energy and money. The ability to bend, adapt and shape my life as I wish. To never feel stuck.

This is still true to this day. Ironically however, being a founder and CMO meant that as time went on I experienced less and less of what I truly desired and spent more and more time in spreadsheets and meetings. I was neither free nor flexible.

As part of a huge life upheaval this year, I decided to revisit my core values. After all, 15 years later I have much more life experience to draw from. I found myself deep in literature about quantum entanglement. I was listening to meditations to reconnect with my inner child. For every weird, wonderful and woo woo step I took, the list was clarified. Slowly and meaningfully, it grew to include two more core values.

Home: My family. My husband. My children. My safe place full of the people and objects I love. A place that fosters connection & community where myself and my family can make memories.

Creativity: The start. Or simply, the option to start. That is the essence of creativity; not what exists, but what could exist.

Then I had to ask myself the hardest question of all: Was the job that saw me working 80 hour weeks aligned to these values? The answer was clear: Absolutely not. Going through this process of self discovery - honestly, vulnerably and emotionally - was the catalyst for a long overdue change.

I don’t look back at anything I have done with regret. I loved so much of it. I am beyond fortunate to have experienced what I did. But now, I am entering a new phase of my life where I look forward to new experiences that are more aligned to the updated version of my authentic code and my personal values.

I am ready to challenge the notion of what my life - especially my work life- could or should be, by letting go of the expectations both society and I have placed on myself.

I am a curious person by nature. I always have been. I’ve written stories for as long as I can remember and have concluded that it’s because I like to be in control of the narrative, but also, as I create make-believe worlds with my pen I get the sense that anything is possible. I live exactly in my core values of creativity and freedom when I write.

So, why not take that magic out of the pages and inject it into my real life? Like topping on a sundae, let’s pour that shit everywhere.

Understanding thy ego.

My title was Chief Marketing Officer. It sounds fancy, hey? And it is. It’s a job with an immense amount of responsibility; managing multi-million dollar budgets and their outcomes for an international brand with retailers and lots of employees.

When considering a huge life change, or simply, trying to get to know yourself better, one must always understand the role the ego is playing in our decision making. Ultimately, we are probably going to need to give something up that likely no longer serves us, in order to build a life that fulfils us more. Like salad vs pizza.

For me, letting go of my title and salary were huge obstacles to overcome.

Salary obviously because children, bills and the RBA who meet every 4th Tuesday to jack up my mortgage. For most, this is a hurdle they simply can’t cross during a cost of living crisis.

Letting go of my job title was more complex to unpack: leaving my job would essentially mean I was title-less in a world where I had been defined by my work for so long. It took a lot of effort to ultimately realise that my self worth was not connected to the job title I held. After all, perhaps my self worth could be significantly higher if my life wasn’t controlled by tiny boxes popping up on my devices reminding me I was already late for my next meeting.

Does defining your core values feel like an exercise that would benefit you? If so, it’s simple to get started.

How to define your core values.

Grab a notepad and write. Think about what your ideal life looks like and what brings you the most peace, excitement or joy. Look for common themes. Don’t rush to complete this exercise, take your time. Edit. Work on this for days or even better, weeks.

Need some prompts? I got you. Maybe words coming to mind are:

Travel: Perhaps this is really about curiosity, exploration and learning?

Legacy: Maybe it’s important to you to leave an impact on the world?

Serving others: Are you fulfilled most by helping others?

Security: Financial and physical safety may be paramount to you and linked to your childhood?

As you explore your core values, you need to be extremely honest with yourself.
Don’t write down what you think you’re supposed to say. Be truthful with yourself about your core wants, needs and values to get to a real outcome. Don’t write down that serving others is a high priority if what you really value is being Rich AF or vice versa. We’re all different and that is the beautiful tapestry of life.

I’d love to hear what core values you come up with and how they help shape your decisions. Drop a comment below.

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